Wednesday, February 11, 2009

We can at least Hope

Often times Jared and I joke around about things we plan to "do" to our child. They're riddled with sarcasm and jokes. But in reality, we're very aware of the adventure ahead of us. We're aware that jr. is going to be a sponge - watching us, learning from us. We may never know when we will run into financial struggles, we may never know what city/town we will be moving to next, but what we do know and have control over are the values we have.

I'm not usually this sappy... And when I am, I don't usually share it. But considering that so often, the things we post here are more in the 'funny' realm ...I guess it is probably good to share the more serious side of us...


I hope that we gather around together in the living room after our days at school/work. We all, as a family, take the time to unwind and hear about one anothers day. And we share without feeling like we have to lie about it. I hope he never feels he has to lie about his day. I hope we disagree about things, but without judgement.... When he wants to wear his pants that are Way too big, I may disagree with it, but not be too quick to judge or make assumptions.

I hope we include others in our family. My grandma let my un-official uncle Joel live with them for a while when he needed a home, and my Mom gave Amber a home when her mom didn't want her anymore. I can only hope that if/when the time comes where he has a friend who needs a family, we can be there. I hope that he too someday has the opportunity to feel what it is to show someone what having a "family" can be.

I hope he is as forgiving as myself and Jared both are. We will make mistakes. Sometimes we will make mistakes that are huge (remembering that scene from "I am Sam." ...). And I hope when those times come, he is resilient, curious, able to evolve, comfortable enough to inquire, daring enough to accept, and humble enough to reach out.

I hope we share and listen. I hope he learns to be supportive - of others and of himself. I hope he welcomes new ideas and perspectives. I hope that he sees life and its challenges as the process that it is, and not do things simply for the outcome. ...I hope he rides a bike because he Loves the wind at his back, not because he ever wants to win a medal (though, if he Also wanted to win, i wouldn't complain hahaha).

I hope that when he encounters people who are different than himsefl, he is... amused and charmed by it. That he doesn't turn away or give in to stereotypes, that he doesn't judge or belittle; but that he embraces those differences and makes room for everyone.

I hope he is gentle with himself.

I hope he learns to be grateful for the obstacles he will encounter. That ...he rises from them with... wiser, stronger, more brave, and smarter. And that from them, he is on one hand humbled, and on the other aware of how truly unstoppable we are as humans.

I hope he learns how to hold close both physically and emotionally. And that he is able to do so sometimes without a single selfish thought... but just because he Knows the other person needs it in that moment. With that, I hope he also learns how to let go... and when to do which of these.

Above all else, ...I hope hope hope he will understand how unbelievably loved he is. And not just by us, but... by our close friends (his unofficial aunts and uncles), by his real aunts and uncle, by his grandparents and even by Luda... :D (c'mon, Luda will probably be more protective than Any of us!).


You might be thinking... "good luck with that" but... we think that ... its at least a start Knowing what we do value and hope for if nothing else as something to look back on when we start falling off track. We can at least hope...


Anonymous said...

this is great. thank you for sharing. :) this little man (whatever his name ends up being) is one lucky boy...

Kris said...

I'm glad you made this public. and your sappy side is kind of cute and fun.

Amy said...

This isn't being sappy, it's risking to be real. (Okay, that sounded better in my head, but I hope you know what I mean.) I love your thoughts and wishes. We have to know what the wishes and hopes so that we can make them come true.

Meg said...


This is Meg Linafelter...remember me? Graphic Design? It wasn't too long ago, however now that I'm in this 'real world', as they say, school seems forever ago. You probably have no idea I have been reading your blog, but I saw the link on your facebook page...and have been following ever since. I want to say congratulations, and I just love your journey. I especially wanted to comment on this section because it moved me to tears. I wish the best for you, and I am excited to hear what happens next!