Things they REALLY sell for babies...

I've recently come across a few baby sites that have... sparked a rant in my head. In my parenting boredom of the evening, I decided to push my head-contained rant on to you....
The first site is BabyWit.com
There are a few things, like this $24 "War is Poop" shirt

but lets be honest... Its going to get pooped and spat up on - and the time I ever pay $24 for a shirt of Benjamins, well...it better fit him for more than 2 months.

So we're a cheap family... oh well.

Another site that has Amazing things is My Retro Baby...
Check out this trike!!!

But at almost $300....well, I guess it DOES have working lights....
Other than the prices, that site actually has some Really cool stuff...

I remember just before Ben came along and everyone talking about the baby "slings" so I could do things around the house and still have Ben close.
Well, it is a great idea in theory.

In practice.
Put your kid on the floor and let him eat some dirt, tip over and bonk its head just before he eats half a kleenex before you notice it. CHARACTER people - whatever happened to character!

One of my favorites however is... from "Babycenter"
I followed Baby Center's "week by week" calendar kaginger for a bit and... it was Alright....
but some of the information on that site is ...it is at least as good as a Simpsons episode.
In the "Is it Safe?" section, there really is a link to
"Is it safe to have acrylic nails put on during pregnancy?"
"Is it safe to be around computers all day when I'm pregnant?"
"Is it safe to use a photocopier for more than a few minutes when I'm pregnant?"
" Is it safe to use a vibrating chair during pregnancy?"
And there are seven, 7, SEVEN subcategories under "Baby Names" ....really!??? REALLY!??



Okay... time for Outrageous products....Marketing gods at work...or something
I introduce to you... the

BABY BOTTOM FAN.

Use at every diaper change to eliminate wetness......and waste an extra 3minutes of your time during each diaper change.

PROUDBELL PREGNANCY BELLY CASTING

just in case you want to have a casting of... what your body looked like during that awful time... it Might be neat if you could add to the sculpture how your back feels (maybe have a knife sticking out of it or something...) and have the sculpture constantly going pee...Yeah! Now we're talkin!

BABY CRYING ANALYZER....
***featured on fox news chicago*** ha. ha. there's your sign.
You're not paying enough attention to your child if you can't tell when he's hungry or tired, sorry. And if you tried feeding him, and tried putting him to sleep - then some sleep analyzer won't know either...

ZAKY INFANT PILLOW

this one isn't real, right?... $50.. for $50 it is real.

THE WALK-O-LONG

"The safest childs learning device Today!!!"
its like it wants to be a leash... but shorter... but... so short it makes you wonder why the hell the parents won't hold the kids' hands... coodies? Does your kid have coodies???? If you used the sling to carry your child around, he probably doesn't. If he sat on the floor and entertained himself... coodies for sure.
Life.time.of.coodies.

THUDGUARD HELMET
this isn't just for special needs children, people.

...do you have any idea how many times we've smacked Benjamin's head on the lamp on accident? How many times he has tipped over trying to sit up?
The company says this: "Most homes today have hardwood floors or tiles so statistically the chances are really high."
That the chances are statistically "REALLY high" is... scientifically convincing. Your child is going to get more emotional/mental damage when the pictures of him wearing this surfaces than if he would have tipped over the 8 inches it is to the ground....


Now for a few approved thangs:

BABYKEEPER

approved.

BABY TOUPEE

double approved. I'd like to order one of each.

BABY CAGE

...we sold Luda's cage... didn't think it was legal, but... our loss.

BILLY BOB PACIFIERS

I saw these at a Spencers store while in Ohio - almost bought it...for someone else. ;)


--------

**fine print -- not professional parent -- not too much intent to offend -- no intent to offend anyone specific -- No children (or Benjamin) were harmed in the creation of this post...except those used in the found images**

how many teeth.

Ben's eating greenbeans these days - on top of cheerios, mashed potatoes, guacamole, cheese... anything else we feel like mooshing and shoving in his little mouth.... WHICH NOW features a tooth on the bootom, Thank You Very Much!

I ecstatically told a friend about the tooth that appeared, and another friend goes "...pssht, ONE... you want to feel how many I have??!?"

Well Brian, this is what Benjamin says to that remark:

Despite the tooth coming in, the little man has been quite the happy camper lately - as long as he's being bounced, dancing, hanging upside down, drooling, eating some inanimate object or getting a diaper change (must be a guy thing...).

He's still cuddly when he gets tired, but he has reallllly started exploring and going after things he wants! He has Jared's attention span for sure... BRIGHT SHINY OBJ....BRIGHTER SHINY OBJEC....brighter bright shiny EDIBLE object!!!!!!!

This weekend Angie came over and we did lots 'o baking!

hmmm where DID all of the cookies go, ben!???? hmmmm???

We had the kitchen all sorts of a mess but the results were well worth it.

After making a few cut out cookies in normal holiday shapes - it got a bit creative. PBR cans, bicycles, and beakers were the most successful ... There is extra dough left, so we'll just have to wait and see what else I come up with.

Little Man has been enduring the snow and chilly temperatures quite nicely with help from his favorite hat. I think this image would have been complete if he were holding a TV remote in his other hand. I feel like I've seen many a man asleep with one hand protecting his feed and the other protecting his viewing selections (**cough cough...surfings**)

Being a parent is really Really neat.

:)

iwanttobeababy.com

okay...

i don't know whether to tag this as scary, funny, or just... these people need therapy - Freud?

....anyway.....

that is today's story. I'll let you explore it yourself.

Great Thanks and Greater Understanding

Happy Thanksgiving all!!

Jared's Trifle:

mmm made from scratch Everything

Turkey Carving

Ludacris being Ludacris

awwwww

What Rhonda should probably make as her new profile picture:

My Sweet Potatoes (Thanks Amie) They were delicious!! mmmm...

Jared and I were unfortunately under the weather the entire break (and the week before...uugh!)... So it was nice not having the stresses of traveling and instead having Jared's parentals coming over to cook some turkey and take Ben out on adventures. (Thanks guys, you were very very helpful and it was a Wonderful time having you visit!!).

It will be really really wonderful to get to see ALL of our family over Christmas break though, we are much looking forward to it... Someone needs to get on designing teleportation because... this whole not seeing family for months on end is tough!

----

In other news, I ...would like to declare what I believe to be the most difficult thing about parenting.. It isn't the sleepless nights-ish (though somewhat related), it isn't the terrible diapers, or even being spit-up on 23 times a day... I think it is the inability for kids to communicate and/or the inability for parents to understand the said communication.

Dear Benjamin... I can't wait for you to talk so you can just TELL us when you're constipated and ...just need a few gas drops. That would be much much easier than trying to read your mind. Thanks.

-----

Usually by the end of our breaks from school we have beautiful cycling/trip photos....... buuut since we were sick, this was about all the riding we did...

5 Months

Well, Ben's 5 month b-day has come and gone and ...we are constantly amazed. Everyday.
His growth appears exponential.

Not only is he sitting up on his own... He's holding his own bottle, eating strollers



and doing tkd kicks apparently.


He likes watching Luda take naps... and eyeing which spot of fur he's going to grab onto next.


he also likes pretending Luda is his horse...

Okay... maybe it is us who pretends that...

But mostly he enjoys just being Dang-diddly-CUTE!

The time really has flown by... remember when he was This small?

And he didn't really do much but eat and sleep... and now, whoooah boy. He's trying to crawl everywhere, he jumps and bounces in his stand-up kaginger

and squeeeals like a taradactle! and sometimes he closes his lips and blows out elephant noises... So great. Soon they'll be REAL words! ahhh!

There has always been something ...special... about taking Ben to the grocery store...
a: all the ladies/women/girls look back to make sure they get a peek.
b: all of the guys ignore your presence
c: people in general will get out of your way!!! (jared is particularly fond of this fact...as he likes standing at the cheese for a minimum of 15 minutes...debating which to purchase... and if Ben can get everyone out of Jared's way AND keep them away... that means no distractions ...!)

A Green and Orange Tribute

Remember the project I mentioned a couple months ago... The bike Jared is building?
WELL!! The time has come and it is done!!

Original:


Process:


There were many other process steps... and many more trips to BikeWorld (thanks again, you guys are the greatest...) ...but alas!!!

Finished:




Jared has his very own, personally designed... campus cruising fixie.
Check out how BRIGHT those wheels are!!!


He wanted green and orange and... for it to glow.
If you look close enough you can see a green tint to the wheels, pedals and the middle part of the handlebars... Yep, those parts all glow in the dark. In typical Jared fashion... it is like No other bicycle out there. He is excited.

Benjamin is soon to follow in his father's green and orange obsession:

Thanks Aunt Deb for the sweater - its perfect for this season!!!

The Weekend Away

Grandma Topp and Aunt Amie came Friday and took Benjamin for the weekend - My mom had work off and ...I had tests/projects/party to get ready for. ... So when she called Friday morning to ask "would you like me to get him for the weekend?" I said "uuuh YES!"

Benjamin didn't miss out on his first Halloween though, don't worry. Kris and I took him down to Main Street and joined Brooke and Logan in some business-style trick-or-treating.


Logan was my buddy for the afternoon


While Kris cuddled Ben and kept him warm


...Brooke hung out with the stroller... ;)
I'm kidding, I let her hang with her kid for a Little bit of the time

But shortly after, Ben took off to Illinois... And THEN it was time to get serious...about Halloween.

Saturday started with playing around on mt. bikes in the backyard, but after that official business was done, the SHED was decorated!!!

This is where we kept the tunes, food and beverages.

It featured a skeleton on an old schwinn bicycle in the back, a couple strobe lights, some orange stringed lights, many spider webs (some real, some fake!!), lots and lots of entirely unhealthy food (most made by Sami!!...thanks Girl!!) and who knows what else... oh oh! a painted pumpkin on the side that isn't pictured.

Right out side of the shed is where our fire-pit is. We started the sacrificial stew at around 3:30pm ... it featured bacon and... any/every vegetable that was found at the store that Might have a chance in a stew. mmmmm. YUM! Good job, boys!!!

Even Luda dressed up for the festivities!! He too enjoyed the stew...

Many joined us including Einstein, Disco that died, Courtney Love, some guy they introduced as Lenny??, a gay guy in the military, a zombie doctor, the Dude and others... whoah!

The best part was the company, it was just a Good Good group of people...

Sunday was homework/study/clean-up day and

......by Monday we were missing our little Benjamin. When we met my mom in Iowa City (2 hours away for each of us) to get him... the moment he saw/recognized Jared his eyes widened like you wouldn't believe. They BURST open and his little bottom lip tucked under to make that unforgettable toothless smile... and his arms and legs started flailing... I think Jared tried to hold it in how proud he was at Ben's excitement - but I bet he'll remember it for a long long time.

**will post more halloween pics as others get around to it... i didn't have my camera out much at all**