Saturday, January 30, 2010

Santa's new Home.

This week This week...hmmm
I believe it is official - due to Global Warming, Santa will be forced to relocate to AMES IOWA where there is enough snow for a long enough period of time that it will now suffice as the new "north pole." The move was also motivated by Santa's commute time and fuel prices (lets be honest, Rudolf and the crew turned 60 years old this past year and have no desire to drive a sleigh) both of which will see a dramatic decrease. For those of you wondering, yes the move proves to be more cost effective than Santa switching to a new hybrid sleigh to avoid the higher gas prices. .....

In other news,
Somewhere between here and last week... Benjamin learned to officially crawl... on hands and knees instead of his previous bear-crawl. We're not sure when the development Actually happened, but we just noticed it today.
He is also learning the word "no" as well as tonal cues - we think anyway. Maybe it is just that he gets excited when we talk to him so stops his current path of destruction to turn and see what it is we might have to offer him.

When he isn't terrorizing the house, he is being a Delightful little helper.

Here Ben is helping Jared install new computer parts.

Aaaand here he is driving around. mostly in reverse.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

ice storm, big gust & you

Holy ice storm batman.
Iowa's weather has been ridiculous this year.

This picture was actually the day after the ice storm.. the day Of had the Entire side of the house as an ice sheet. Free insulation??


Benjamin finds himself too proud to play IN his stand-up-kajinger that you are so used to seeing him in...It is no longer good enough for his growing abilities:


He sure loves standing.

He also loves computers. Seeing how he was with me during an entire semester of computer induced work and lecture - it is understandable. He is especially fond of the computer when it is time to work on things - maybe I will be able to delegate work to him when he hits a certain age.... I think his symbol designs would be quite developed.

Also, Jared has been into the glass studio a few times since break - He made a delightful gin and tonic glass... someone had to make a gin and tonic to photograph the piece in its intended context/for its intended use...........

And he of course made more pretty mushrooms! This is one of my favorites of his so far. He gave most of his other stuff away before I could photograph it...

That's what we're up to!
Hope every one else is keeping warm and dry where ever you might be!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Things they REALLY sell for babies...

I've recently come across a few baby sites that have... sparked a rant in my head. In my parenting boredom of the evening, I decided to push my head-contained rant on to you....
The first site is
There are a few things, like this $24 "War is Poop" shirt

but lets be honest... Its going to get pooped and spat up on - and the time I ever pay $24 for a shirt of Benjamins, better fit him for more than 2 months.

So we're a cheap family... oh well.

Another site that has Amazing things is My Retro Baby...
Check out this trike!!!

But at almost $300....well, I guess it DOES have working lights....
Other than the prices, that site actually has some Really cool stuff...

I remember just before Ben came along and everyone talking about the baby "slings" so I could do things around the house and still have Ben close.
Well, it is a great idea in theory.

In practice.
Put your kid on the floor and let him eat some dirt, tip over and bonk its head just before he eats half a kleenex before you notice it. CHARACTER people - whatever happened to character!

One of my favorites however is... from "Babycenter"
I followed Baby Center's "week by week" calendar kaginger for a bit and... it was Alright....
but some of the information on that site is is at least as good as a Simpsons episode.
In the "Is it Safe?" section, there really is a link to
"Is it safe to have acrylic nails put on during pregnancy?"
"Is it safe to be around computers all day when I'm pregnant?"
"Is it safe to use a photocopier for more than a few minutes when I'm pregnant?"
" Is it safe to use a vibrating chair during pregnancy?"
And there are seven, 7, SEVEN subcategories under "Baby Names" ....really!??? REALLY!??

Okay... time for Outrageous products....Marketing gods at work...or something
I introduce to you... the


Use at every diaper change to eliminate wetness......and waste an extra 3minutes of your time during each diaper change.


just in case you want to have a casting of... what your body looked like during that awful time... it Might be neat if you could add to the sculpture how your back feels (maybe have a knife sticking out of it or something...) and have the sculpture constantly going pee...Yeah! Now we're talkin!

***featured on fox news chicago*** ha. ha. there's your sign.
You're not paying enough attention to your child if you can't tell when he's hungry or tired, sorry. And if you tried feeding him, and tried putting him to sleep - then some sleep analyzer won't know either...


this one isn't real, right?... $50.. for $50 it is real.


"The safest childs learning device Today!!!"
its like it wants to be a leash... but shorter... but... so short it makes you wonder why the hell the parents won't hold the kids' hands... coodies? Does your kid have coodies???? If you used the sling to carry your child around, he probably doesn't. If he sat on the floor and entertained himself... coodies for sure.

this isn't just for special needs children, people. you have any idea how many times we've smacked Benjamin's head on the lamp on accident? How many times he has tipped over trying to sit up?
The company says this: "Most homes today have hardwood floors or tiles so statistically the chances are really high."
That the chances are statistically "REALLY high" is... scientifically convincing. Your child is going to get more emotional/mental damage when the pictures of him wearing this surfaces than if he would have tipped over the 8 inches it is to the ground....

Now for a few approved thangs:




double approved. I'd like to order one of each.


...we sold Luda's cage... didn't think it was legal, but... our loss.


I saw these at a Spencers store while in Ohio - almost bought it...for someone else. ;)


**fine print -- not professional parent -- not too much intent to offend -- no intent to offend anyone specific -- No children (or Benjamin) were harmed in the creation of this post...except those used in the found images**